Why is any single woman in 2017 still dating one man? It is a riddle for the ages. At a time when women have unprecedented autonomy and access to the opposite sex, we still commit to men who are not committed to us– effectively placing ourselves on the losing end of the negotiation that we […]
On Respectability Politics: Why Fierce Women Misbehave
Pop icon Janet Jackson found herself on the scorching end of a media firestorm following news that she was divorcing her billionaire husband, Wissam Al Manna, a mere 5 years after marriage and 3 months after giving birth. The questions and name-calling ensued. Is she a gold digger? Was she in it for the baby all […]
Your Vagina Has the Power to Heal!
When we hear the term ‘vagina power’ or ‘pussy power’, we often think of a woman’s sexual prowess, or even her willingness to use sex as a bargaining chip. Too often, our sexual power is based on the belief that a woman’s chief role in sex is to provide a soft, pleasurable haven for a […]
I Spent My Twenties ‘Chasing Waterfalls’ with Emotionally Unavailable Men
I spent my twenties drowning in intense relationships with emotionally unavailable men. This story is about the first man for whom I fell hard– and how that relationship single-handedly changed my romantic destiny for an entire decade. This story is about the power of bad habits, and the people who teach us how to love. […]
“Hurt Bae”: When A Man Leaves You Emotionally Bankrupt
[divider] There’s a new viral video, affectionately titled “Hurt Bae” that offers stunning insight into the dynamics of many contemporary broken relationships– the type of emotionally lopsided relationships that most of us will encounter at least once (perhaps repeatedly) in our dating lives. Created by “The Scene”, the short features two ex-lovers facing in their first […]
Beyonce’s Powerful Hidden Message to Womankind
In the wee hours of a Sunday night, I found myself engaged in a heady Twitter exchange about whether superstar songstress Beyonce had either evoked the orisha Oshun or the syncretized Virgin Guadalupe of Mexico. I thought it was clear. She had evoked both dieties– and more. I saw references to the Roman Venus, the […]
The “Goddess Complex” aka How to Play Games You Can’t Lose
“Do whatever it takes. This is a hustle.” I’ll never forget the woman who christened my TV career with those frank words of wisdom. She was the head of on-air talent at NBC Universal– the woman responsible for turning the likes of Tamron Hall and Brian Williams into household names–and I was a plucky 21 […]
Why Women Must Love Power
They say men want power, and women want love. I want both. And I bet you do too. All too often, we assume that women don’t desire power— that we prefer to be near power, or perhaps make love to power–anything but in actual possession of it. That’s nonsense. You can easily debunk that myth […]