When I declared that the original purpose of socially imposed monogamy was to ensure that “Average Joes get to get married too”, the video clip from The Grapevine Show went viral, sparking impassioned debate about the ways we date and mate. In this follow-up video, I offer insight into my comment. Many viewers assumed that I was advocating for polygyny or polyamory. I was not. I was making a broader point about how our courtship practices are largely fashioned around male desire, that is, modern day romance compromises female agency by encouraging women to routinely act against their own self-interests.
Within this discussion, I noted for emphasis that EVEN monogamy, the one thing we believe is a concession to women, was legally imposed in Greco-Roman society in order to help lower ranking men get married. The reason: polygyny naturally reduces the number of single women, so the lower a man is on the socioeconomic ladder, the harder it becomes to secure a wife. Once again, my comments are no petition for polyamory (though polyandry wouldn’t hurt) but I think its important to challenge common assumptions about how we date and mate– and revise our behavior, at times, accordingly.
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